Author: Mina Shay
With the exception of those damn 50s sci-fi movies a brief look at my more recent blog posts has revealed a worrying trend: I’ve been enjoying myself with various books, movies and games that could be considered “normal”. That kind of thing just can’t be allowed to go on without end, so I decided that it was about time I treated/subjected myself to some kind of unnatural literary sex.
When I go on the hunt for these fluid-soaked rags I rarely go in with a plan: I click on ‘erotica’ and wait to see what Amazon thinks is the best way to expedite the erosion of my psyche on that particular day. Today it decided it was time to expose me to the heretofore unheard of realm of shape-shifting pufferfish and their sexual prowess with human females.
Dana is a marine biologist working on a top-secret military experiment to create a more voracious species of piranha. I personally don’t think that Dana would have understood any of the words in that sentence (with the possible exception of “Dana”), but apparently busty, stupid marine biologists in their underwear are all the rage these days.
Being the dimwitted marine biologist that she is Dana manages to fall into the tank with all the piranha, only to be saved by a mysterious giant pufferfish who magically appears where a guy named Paul was standing. Safely out of the tank Dana throws herself and her pufferfish in shining armour into the decontamination tank to wash off all the chemicals that are turning the piranhas into what ever the hell they’re meant to be.
To her complete surprise the pufferfish transforms into Paul after a bit of time in the decontamination tank (*insert fake surprised gasp here*) and Dana simply must think of someway to thank him for rescuing her from her own inability to control basic motor functions. Being a remarkably intelligent woman she obviously believes that sex is the best payment plan, and said “intelligence” quickly goes out the window as her apparent natural instinct to open her legs kicks in. On the upside it turns out that being a werepuffer comes with certain abilities, such as the ability to inflate and deflate your penis, thus stretching pussies to levels that pussies could hardly have imagined possible and so on and so forth.
The Writing Style
Mina Shay writes in a way that I imagine the people who do the scripts for porn write: you say “marine biologist”, but I’m seeing a blonde stripper with clear heels. I imagine this was exactly what Ms Shay was going for, so brava on that count.
Other than that it’s all rather generic: there’s pussies a-slopping, cocks a-puffing, clits a-rubbing, nipples a-squeezing; you get the picture. The werepuffer aspect is also actually only thrown in so that the Paul can screw Dana in what is likely a very chlorinated tank without the benefit of lube – this will eliminate unsightly chafing, but does very little to make the sex actually exciting.
Despite it’s ridiculous concept Werepuffer contains some of the blandest sex I’ve ever read. If you run the risk of dying from eating pufferfish that hasn’t been prepared correctly then surely there should be some element of risk involved if you don’t fuck them properly either. By this book’s standards you could have sex with a well-muscled balloon and it would have the same earth-shattering climax of an effect.
I wonder if anyone’s written balloon erotica…
My Final Rating: 3 / 10
Buy Werepuffer at Amazon.com