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Movie Review: Urotsukidōji V: The Final Chapter

Urotsukidoji V

Released: 1996
Genre: Anime / Horror
IMDB Rating: 6.1 / 10

For a while there I thought this day would never come. After more than a year of subjecting myself to a never-ending barrage of penis tornadoes, Nazi death rape machines, incest-not-incest, and Orgies By Infants™, I’m finally free! I have borne witness to things that no person, Japanese or otherwise, should to be subjected to (the inhuman things that Russian women were offering to do for and to me while I was trying to find subtitles alone would make your hair stand on end). With the closing credits to Urotsukidōji V: The Final Chapter I rid myself of this evil and draw to an end this protracted attack on my psyche!

Giving birth is a beautiful miracle.

Giving birth is a beautiful miracle.

The Plot

Unlike the other installments in this franchise, which were complete if nonsensical, part 5 was scrapped before it was finished, so what we have here is the beginning of a story without an end, and it’s got some major retconning it wants to do in its 50 or so minutes of runtime.

Remember the Overfiend from all the previous installments? Wrong! That wasn’t the Overfiend. That was a false Overfiend sent from the Demon Realm to fool us into something something something. In order to make itself more powerful it tried to steal the Lord of Chaos’ power by sexing it out of her. Himi (the Lord of Chaos) isn’t one to be out-sexed, however, and launches a counter sex attack and steals all of his power instead. The false Overfiend vanquished and its powers slowly dripping down Himi’s thigh the Lord of Chaos vanishes, never to bog down the new story line again.

So where does that leave us? Somehow through a series of explanations that really didn’t make any sense Amano (our always lovely anti-hero) finds himself staring out at the same evening from the end of the first installment: Nagumo, in the form of the Destroyer Demon, is busy destroying the world, Akemi’s still pregnant with the Overfiend, and demons are running around raping and killing everything in sight. BUT! while it is still the exact same evening, 100 years have also passed, and the true Overfiend is ready to be born.

I don't remember buying these...

I don’t remember buying these…

In a manner truly becoming of the Urotsukidōji series the Overfiend isn’t so much born as it is orgasmed out of Akemi in a truly bizarre and green-tinged birthing/self-pleasure scene. Her duties fulfilled Amano moves to save Akemi and return her to a normal life (in a world that’s being blown to pieces), but the Overfiend isn’t done with any of them yet.

The true Overfiend has grown tired of the Humans, Beasts, and Demons, and has decided to pit these three against one another until they bring about their own mutually assured extinction. In their place the Overfiend wants to leave his new race: the Messengers of Imagination. This race is neither male nor female but at the same time is both. What I mean by this is that they have masculine and feminine features (a very feminine face but a flat masculine chest, for example) and no demonstrable genitalia. No demonstrable genitalia, that is, unless they want to have sex, in which case they can grow whatever they want and swap between the two at will. They also speak to one another by making a noise that sounds like a very sexy and seductive pigeon.

Naturally Amano isn’t about to just hand over the collapsing world to these oddly ravishing creatures in their skin-tight pink outfits who keep falling from the sky out of the Overfiend’s vagina spaceship. The war to save the three warring races from the new genocidal race is on (and we’re never going to find out how it ends)!

I always knew our end would come in the form of pink spandex.

I always knew our end would come in the form of pink spandex.

The Visuals

The whole thing harks back to the first installment in terms of its graphic depiction of violence and general sexual depravity, so a lot of whether you’re going to enjoy The Final Chapter hinges on whether or not you enjoyed where the story began.

What does become an issue is that not only was the story left unfinished, this actual episode was unfinished as well. As a result the animation is rather choppy, with in-between frames missing which leaves the action happening on-screen jumping around a little bit. It also relies a fair bit on re-using scenes from previous installments (again, primarily the first one) to pad out its runtime. Given that the style shifted and changed slightly over the years, added to the unpolished veneer of its own animation, what you’re left with can, at times, be a somewhat jarring backwards and forwards in terms of quality.

We call this position 'the tantric apocalypse'.

We call this position ‘the tantric apocalypse’.

The Feelings

Oddly disappointed.

Over the course of the depravity that is Urotsukidōji I have come, the unnerving father animatronic-daughter sex scene aside, to appreciate this series for what it is. This story, and particularly the new race of beings it introduced, had a lot of potential. Squelchy potential, mind you, but potential none the less. For the first time I was actually quite interested to see where they wanted to go with the story, and it seems a tad bit unfair that by the time I eventually get into what I’m watching they decide that they don’t want to do anything with it anymore. I guess that’s just how the cookie crumbles sometimes, and believe me, many cookies have crumbled over the course of this franchise.

So, to reiterate: it’s done! It’s finally done! Never again will I be subjected to a… what’s that?… I’m sorry, I must have misheard you. I could’ve sworn that you… The New Saga?! YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDD… We’ll be right back.

My Final Rating: 5 / 10

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Posted by on August 31, 2016 in Movie Review


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Movie Review: Genocyber


Released: 1994
Genre: Anime / Science Fiction / Horror
IMDB Rating: 6.3 / 10

Down here in the southern hemisphere we’re either experiencing the harshest winter ever or I’m getting old enough that my knees can tell me when it’s going to rain. Something about this made my brain decide that the day would best be spent in bed with a flapjack stack, a well-made pot of tea, and some horrifyingly gory and graphic anime. I must admit, despite some reservations, that my brain’s idea was a solid one – the flapjack stack was amazing, the pot of tea was satisfyingly soothing, and Genocyber taught me that I haven’t become entirely desensitised to that particularly Japanese blend of body mutilation.

Next gen VR systems look intense.

Next gen VR systems look intense.

The Plot

As with the other anime I’ve reviewed Genocyber is divided into five episodes spanning three story arcs – I’ll break the plot down by the story arcs.

Episode 1: A New Life Form

In the 21st century mankind dares to dream of a Utopian world racked by violence: as the world’s developing nations prepare to form a single united government, Kenneth Reed, with funding from the Japanese Kuryu Group, is working to create the Genocyber, the world’s ultimate weapon. He will do this by harnessing the Vajra (psychic) energy of sisters Elaine and Diana and melding them together, thus forming the Genocyber.

The problem is that the initial experiment only called for one child to be born, and the disruption to their Vajra at the time of birth resulted in Elaine being born feral and Diana being born with virtually no muscle control in her body. When Elaine, imbued with more Vajra than the designers could ever have imagined, manages to escape Kenneth sends Diana in a very fetching mechanical suit all around Hong Kong to find her and bring her back. At the same time a gang of cybernetically-enhanced government agents are also looking for Elaine, and aren’t scared to leave a trail of corpses in their wake if it means getting the job done.

When Elaine merges with Diana to protect herself, and thus becomes the Genocyber, Hong Kong is in for a literal hell ride as the beast fights to defend itself.

Episodes 2 and 3: Vajranoid Attack & Global War

Shortly after the events of the first episode the great and well-known nation of Karain has decided that it doesn’t need to be part of the United Nations or the new world government and decides to go rogue and attack its neighbour. Sadly a routine bombing of a small beach goes horribly wrong when a helicopter fleet blows the ever-loving shit out of Elaine’s friends while the group was innocently frolicking.

Elaine, shocked from the attack and exhausted from blowing up helicopters, is taken aboard the Alexandria, a US supercarrier en route to Karain to bring peace to the region by force. The supercarrier, having received images of the Genocyber blowing up helicopters with no apparent motive, asks the Kuryu Group for assistance if they come across the monster. Kuryu’s response: the Vajranoid. While you could be forgiven for thinking that this name denotes some kind of giant murderous vagina, the Vajranoid is actually an automaton imbued with Vajra energy that can meld with any piece of machinery it comes into contact with, making it the perfect war machine.

Unfortunately the Vajranoid identifies Elaine as a hostile target and sets out to kill her. Elaine, not one to be outdone, knows virtually nothing other than how to fight back. When the Vajranoid, under the instruction of its insane creator Dr Sakomizu, absorbs all the souls of those on board the Alexandria to bolster its own power, even the Genocyber is going to have a bit of a time bringing the situation under control.

Now relax and count back slowly from 10.

Now relax and count back slowly from 10.

Episodes 4 and 5: Legend of Ark de Grande City (Parts 1 & 2)

Set 300 years after the previous three episodes, Ark de Grande City is one of the last surviving cities in the world following centuries of destruction across the globe by the Genocyber. Diana eventually managed to convince Elaine that their power was too much for this world, and the Genocyber essentially went into a prolonged hibernation.

Ark de Grande City is the ultimate realisation of the violent Utopia dreamed of in the first episode – clean, efficient, safe, and ruled with an iron fist by a mayor who (quite literally) crushes any dissent or minor infringement that threatens the stability and order of the city. Of course, as is true in all similar situations, a group will rise up to fight its oppressors. The rebels in Ark de Grande City are a Christian sect who believe the Genocyber to be God and its centuries of destruction to be God’s wrath on mankind for their sins. They discovered the husk of the Genocyber’s body when Elaine and Diana pulled their combined consciousness from it and keep it in their Church deep beneath Ark de Grande City.

Things take a turn for the worse when Ryu and Mel, a young couple on the run from Ark de Grande’s authorities, fall through the roof of the Church into the room with the Genocyber’s body. Through a convoluted series of events Diana begins to call Mel ‘big sister’; Mel, wanting revenge on Ark de Grande for its treatment of her and Ryu, merges her consciousness with Diana and Elaine, creating an enormous and even more violent version of the Genocyber to reign terror down on one of man’s final bastions of civilisation.

Mel would forever regret the things she did for a Klondike bar.

Mel would forever regret the things she did for a Klondike bar.

The Visuals

As I become more and more of an expert in this field, I feel that I can say with confidence that this particular set of episodes was suitably animated. The only thing I didn’t like was in the first episode where the animation was superimposed over real-life photographs; neither the animation or the photography have aged well enough for this to look good in 2016, but it’s a minor gripe and it only happened in the first episode.

Of course it’s the little things that really matter when you’re watching this sort of thing – when a character’s skull and spine are being ripped out through their heads you want your own spine to twitch a little bit; when a character’s hand is split in two to reveal a secret mini-chainsaw, you want your own hand to tingle a little bit (that uncomfortable, slightly itching tingle between the fingers – you know the one); and when a child’s head is blown to pink mist you really want to feel the need to reach for a tissue to wipe the spray off your face. Genocyber offers you all this and so much more!

It's called fashion, mother.

It’s called fashion, mother.

The Feelings

Moderately disgusted.

What Genocyber taught me was that it’s not that I’ve become desensitised to on-screen violence, it’s just that there are certain types of violence that creep me out more than others. Unlike the Urotsukidōji OVAs Genocyber doesn’t abound in sexual violence, and it’s that type of violence that makes my skin crawl. Also unlike the Urotsukidōji OVAs the violence in Genocyber isn’t constant, but rather delivered in short controlled bursts – when it happens it’s quite horrific, but there’s enough time between the various instances to allow your nerves time to recenter themselves before they have to have another go at it.

All in all Genocyber is by no means the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen, despite all that I’d heard about it, but it’s disgusting enough that if you like splatter anime you’ll have a good time with it. Despite it also being the master of the anticlimax, where the end of each story arc really falls terrifically flat, the rest of the story leading up to that is quite competent and reasonably easy to follow.

My Final Rating: 6 / 10
Buy Genocyber at


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Posted by on July 7, 2016 in Movie Review


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Movie Review: Violence Jack

Violence Jack

Released: 1986 (Slum King), 1988 (Evil Town), 1990 (Hell’s Wind)
Genre: Anime / Action / Horror
IMDB Rating: 5.3 (Slum King), 5.4 (Evil Town), 5.1 (Hell’s Wind) / 10

It’s been quite a while since my last run-in with anime when I was touched in a bad place by Urotsukidōji IV: Inferno Road. Given my complete lack of knowledge of the Japanese language I’m still trying to decide on the best way to watch the final episode in Overfiend’s saga, but I felt that it was time to bring the weird back to the World of Weird.

And so I settled on Violence Jack. It wasn’t nearly as soul-destroying as the Overfiend’s series, and for that I suppose I should be grateful for small mercies, but on the other hand it wasn’t nearly as much fun because I don’t need to undergo several counselling sessions to build myself back up. Perhaps I should be happy about that, but for some odd reason I’m not.

At first there was the death.

At first there was the death…

The Plot

The stories in each OVA don’t overlap with one another so I’ll deal with them separately, but they do all feature Violence Jack (obviously) in a near-future world where the Kanto region in Japan has been devastated by an asteroid strike and subsequent earthquakes and other natural disasters. I guess the Indigo League will need to move.

Slum King

Fuck only knows what the plot of this installment was. I watched all its 38 minutes of runtime had to offer, but everything I got out of it can be summarised thusly:

  • Asteroid strikes Japan, chaos ensues.
  • Mad Max-style breakdown of society.
  • Angry bikers rock up.
  • Angry bikers kidnap women to run their BDSM-inspired slave ring.
  • Star-crossed lovers (?)
  • Violence Jack rocks up to protect the weak and emancipate the subs from the doms.
  • Guns
  • Helicopter crash
  • Phoenix (?) flying across a beautiful dawn sky.

Evil Town

Ostensibly the most violent and deplorable of the Violence Jack OVAs, this was at least a lot easier to follow.

Following the earthquakes that rocked Kanto part of the Tokyo Underground has been completely sealed off from ground-level. The trapped survivors have broken off into what are essentially three tiny city states: Section A has all the white-collar survivors, who are trying to re-establish some kind of civil order; Section B has all the crazies and the loons who are headed up by Mad Saurus and his assistant Blue (who is either a transsexual or the victim of poor voice casting choices); and Section C, which is comprised entirely of models who got stuck on a train.

After being released from a concrete tomb Jack does the rounds for a bit before deciding that his brute strength is needed most in Section C after the women give him a little history of what’s been going on down in the Underground (all non-consensual sex, all the time). It’s up to Jack to help the ladies find a way out of the Underground before they fall victims to the outright loons in Section B and the suppressed loons in Section A.

...and then there was some light BDSM...

…and then there was some light BDSM…

Hell’s Wind

At least some form of normal society remains in the ravaged Kanto region: Hope Town. Hope Town’s a tiny little place filled with good people who are just trying to rebuild their lives and regain some sense of normality. That is, until Hell’s Wind blows into town. Hell’s Wind are a group of deranged bikers who were once a small nuisance but who have really found themselves in this apocalyptic wasteland.

The people of Hell’s Wind are arguably more interested in destruction and personal violation than they are in stealing supplies, and when faced with that type of foe you need to meet violence with yet more violence (Jack). Jack will be assisted by Jun, a young secretary-type turned fuming Amazon who’s single-mindedly determined to get revenge on Hell’s Wind for ripping her boyfriend in two with a chainsaw. Hell hath no fury and all that I suppose.

...and then there was this female (?) with the odd voice...

…and then there was this female (?) with the odd voice…

The Visuals

Much like the story line, you have to hang in there and wait for it to gradually get better.

In ‘Slum King’ the animation was horrible, where in fact most of what was on-screen was either a still photo with some effects added on, or a repeat shot of something else we’ve already seen just being played again for a different scenario. Coupled with the very weak story the poor animation made for a very bland and uninteresting romp.

‘Evil Town’ and ‘Hell’s Wind’ were much better off as the animation was brought up to standard. ‘Hell’s Wind’ is the best of the two by a slim margin, which I attribute to it being the most recent of the lot, but in both you really do get to see the intestines flying in all their squishy, blood-dripping glory. It’s such a pity that 3D wasn’t as advanced when this was made as it is today.

...and then we had some light cannibalism to finish off the afternoon.

…and then we had some light cannibalism to finish off the afternoon.

The Feelings

Boredom and disappointment.

Perhaps others will disagree, and maybe I’m running the risk of sounding like a completely unstable individual, but my primary disappointment with Violence Jack is that I didn’t find it to be particularly violent. To qualify that, there is a lot of killing going on, and a fair amount of blood is flying all over the place. With that said, however, the killing is largely a slash-kill-blood-next affair, rather than the sadistic violence I have been subjected to in other anime.

My main way of judging anime of this sort is by how uncomfortable it makes me when I watch it, and with one or two slight exceptions in ‘Evil Town’ Violence Jack didn’t make me feel uncomfortable. This is not the kind of letdown I want to feel when I’ve psyched myself up and whipped out the good poncho in anticipation of flying bodily fluids that hardly materialise.

My Final Rating: 4 / 10
Buy Violence Jack at



Posted by on May 29, 2016 in Movie Review


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Movie Review: Cabin Fever

Cabin Fever

Released: 2016
Genre: Horror
IMDB Rating: 3.6 / 10

For those of you unfamiliar with the Cabin Fever movies, let’s bring you up to speed:

  • Cabin Fever (2002): A strange film that’s rather gory and weird with a strong undercurrent of black humour, it wouldn’t be to everyone’s taste but is certainly enjoyable if you’re in the right frame of mind.
  • Cabin Fever 2: Spring Break (2009): A gag-reflex-testing, retch-inducing train wreck from start to finish that tried to mix toilet humour with insane amounts of blood and pus from places that blood and pus have no business gushing out of.
  • Cabin Fever: Patient Zero (2014): A film that sticks with the gore and goes the more traditional horror route and which was far better than I ever would’ve expected it to be.

There was also meant to be a fourth Cabin Fever movie that took place on an ocean liner, which I thought would be quite cool; that was cancelled, and instead we got a remake/reboot of the original film. Why they decided to go this route I couldn’t quite say since the original isn’t that old (although I fear I’m getting to a point in my life where anything I did/watched/listened to as a teenager will be considered “not that long ago”), nor did it rely on effects that would be so much better 14 years later (oh God, it was quite long ago…)

I watched this movie twice, the first time for a general impression (which I live tweeted and during which I wasn’t overly impressed) and the second time to figure out what it was about this movie that was bugging me, because I wasn’t hating it as much as I thought I might, but something still wasn’t quite right. Read on and I’ll explain.

Officer Ellie Goulding is on the scene.

Officer Ellie Goulding is on the scene.

The Plot

Despite what a lot of reviewers have said this isn’t a frame-for-frame remake of the original Cabin Fever, although the broad story remains largely the same.

Karen, Jeff, Paul, Marcy and Bert are five friends looking to get away for a few days to a nice little cabin in the woods (because that always works out so well for college-going teenagers). The problem is, these woods are home to a rather vicious and highly contagious flesh-eating virus. When their car is trashed and the locals turn out to be a bunch of weirdos that aren’t going to help, the fivesome must try and figure out a way to get back home with all their skin still sticking to their bodies.

Admittedly it’s a rather thin plot, but you don’t need to have much back story to have five kids get slowly eaten from the inside-out.

Just walk it off honey, walk it off...

Just walk it off honey, walk it off…

The Visuals

This is part of the reason I don’t understand why they remade the film. The cinematography for the original was perfect for what it was – a completely disgusting gore fest. It didn’t rely on anything that got better with time, and (at least in my opinion) you can watch the original film and it’s just as good (or bad, depending on your personal tastes) as it was when it was released.

That being said, the cinematography and general grossness is just as good in this version of events; because it relies on makeup instead of CGI and seems to have had a decent enough budget to pull it off it’s a completely revolting film in 2016 and will still be a completely revolting film in 2030 (by the current trend this is likely when we can expect another remake).

Even by Eli Roth's standards this scene was a bit much.

Even by Eli Roth’s standards this scene was a bit much.

The Feelings

Neither here nor there.

I’m glad I watched it a second time because I finally figured out what was going wrong: this movie doesn’t balance itself properly. The main thing with this movie is that it’s an out-and-out horror film that does away with the black humour of the original. This change in tone is welcome, and admittedly one that I prefer, but the problem comes in in that it hasn’t adjusted some of the things it retains from the original to suit the new mood. For this reason, for example, you have a 30-something policewoman that’s trying to be a 15-year-old stoner: this weirdness was right at home in the original, but feels forced and very odd here.

The cast themselves also didn’t do their bit to pull this movie up. I wouldn’t say that any of them was particularly bad (they weren’t amazing, but I can see a future for each of them in the horror genre) but they didn’t work or play off one another very well, and you’re left with the impression that the director was pointing at each of them in turn and telling them to speak.

At the end of the day this Cabin Fever isn’t as awful as many reviews are saying, and I imagine if you haven’t seen the original you’d be no worse for wear if this was the only one you’ve watched (although I felt poor Karen’s ultimate demise was a little bit much). I wouldn’t go out of my way to recommend it, but if non-stop gore and some very stereotypical yokels tickle you in your happy place then you could do far worse than this.

My Final Rating: 5 / 10
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Posted by on February 22, 2016 in Movie Review


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Movie Review: Urotsukidōji IV: Inferno Road

Urotsukidoji IV

Released: 1995
Genre: Anime / Horror
IMDB Rating: 5.7 / 10

The road to hell, as some would have you believe, is paved with good intentions. Having concluded my viewing of Urotsukidōji part four (armed with parasol, wet wipes and some Dettol to be on the safe side) I must argue that the road to hell is actually paved with semen and the sundered flesh of the innocent, with my morbid curiosity providing all the heavy machinery necessary to get us there.

I was very wary going into this, firstly because Return of the Overfiend had made my skin crawl and secondly because, from what I’d read online, Inferno Road is meant to be the most shocking and distasteful of the entire franchise. Now it’s absolutely true that Inferno Road is completely shocking and distasteful, but to my… um… I suppose “relief” will have to do here… it’s shocking and distasteful in the same way as the original Legend of the Overfiend. It’s a niche little title that won’t be to everyone’s taste, but at this point my standards are so low the fact that it didn’t have any incest-not-incest in it was enough to keep me going.

Just your average 10-year-old's birthday orgy.

Just your average 10-year-old’s birthday orgy.

The Plot

Thankfully this one was a lot easier to follow than its predecessor.

Picking up right where Return of the Overfiend left us, Buju, Himi (the Lord of Chaos) and the rest of the gang are on their way to Osaka to see the Overfiend, either to stop his deadly rampage or to help him with his deadly rampage – I don’t really have clarity on this point. Along the way Buju, Himi and old man Gashim get separated from the rest of the group and land up in a mysterious city blanketed in a very ominous bank of fog and ruled over by some even more ominous children. Unperturbed by the kids’ incredible psychic capabilities our little gang follows them back to their home for a little rest and respite before continuing with their arduous journey.

And nothing will give you the rest you need quite like an orgy comprised of the children’s parents, watched over and organised by the children themselves. Heading up this group of insanely powerful and malicious hell spawn are brothers Ellus and Phallus. While adulthood brings with it the apparent promise of enormous breasts, unending amounts of testosterone and the inability to feel pain during intercourse, for these kids it also means an end to their psychic abilities, and the brothers just won’t have that. To retain their youth they need to kill Himi and drink her blood; given that she’s more or less developed PTSD from witnessing the never-ending orgies and Buju’s too busy taking part in the never-ending orgies to be of any use the brothers may just be in with a shot to pull off their nefarious plan.

This story arc takes up the majority of the first two episodes (“The Secret Garden” and “The Long Road to God”) of this part of the OVA. It doesn’t add to the overall plot of the Overfiend and his plans in any great way, but it’s disturbingly entertaining nevertheless.

Well here's a kind of renewable energy the government doesn't want you to know about...

Well here’s a kind of renewable energy the government doesn’t want you to know about…

The third episode (The End of the Journey) picks up after Buju and co. manage to get out of the city of hell children and resume their journey to Osaka. Since most of the path to Osaka has been turned into a godless wasteland from a junkie’s worst acid trip they decide that air travel will be the best way to get there, and commandeer a Hell Worm to get them airborne. A Hell Worm’s a little like an Overlord from Starcraft except instead of listening to the Overmind it lives on the life essence and vaginal juices of abducted women.

Of course a trip to Osaka in an squirt-powered flesh balloon wouldn’t be complete without some kind of epic battle going down. Amano, our beloved anti-hero, has been floating around since we first came upon the evil children but hasn’t been doing awfully much. Now it’s his time to shine! Since Münchhausen II just cannot give it a fucking rest he decides to magically/sexually share his powers with Yoenki, the sister of Suikakujū from Legend of the Overfiend. Yoenki’s mad as hell at Amano for killing her brother, so the two of them have to duke it out while Buju and Gashim try to escape from a demon in the middle of the Hell Worm, Münchhausen II tries to abduct Himi in order to kill the Overfiend, and Himi battles with that very difficult time in every young woman’s life – her first period.

Reading over that it doesn’t sound like it makes a whole lotta sense, but if you watch it it’s done in such a way that you just might buy it.

Fashion at the 2055 Royal Wedding!

Fashion at the 2055 Royal Wedding!

The Visuals

Whatever Return of the Overfiend lacked, Inferno Road makes up for it. This entry just looked a lot more polished and put together, with the animation having a little more life to it than in previous installments.

And that’s just as well, because you can’t enjoy the sheer visceral horror that is Inferno Road without a little spit and polish. Without said spit and polish you wouldn’t be able to fully partake in the sensory assault of penis tails, penis appendages, penis tubes, penis tentacles and occasionally, when you least expect it, a regular human penis. And the less said about that one vagina that can warp space and time around it the better…

It’s a far cry from HD but for the early- to mid- 90s it’s about as close as your going to get.

She's overcome with the vapours.

She’s overcome with the vapours.

The Feelings

Mildly concerned that I contracted a strain of demonic gonorrhea, but reasonably entertained anyway.

I’m certain that Inferno Road should have left me feeling queasy and with a need to scrub my skin until it turned bright red before I felt clean again. The problem is that, between the four installments of this franchise and the terrible books I subject myself to, I think I’ve become so completely desensitised that nothing that happened in this approximately two-hour adventure could hurt me.

On an academic level I can tell you that what was flashing before my eyes was nothing but filth and general queefage, but like with a crying baby at midnight my mind chose to block it out and keep going. Stripped of that emotional impact what you’re left with is a heavily inappropriate story that, despite its overall weirdness, has a decent plot and characters that are more than just 2D sex dolls.

My Final Rating: 5 / 10
Buy Urotsukidōji IV: Inferno Road at

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Posted by on November 12, 2015 in Movie Review


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Movie Review: Urotsukidōji III: Return of the Overfiend

Return of the Overfiend

Released: 1993
Genre: Anime / Horror
IMDB Rating: 5.9 / 10

In this crazy world of tolerance, multiculturalism, political correctness, sensitivity, social justice warriors, and otherkin, we are taught that the most important thing in appreciating one another is to recognise what we have in common rather than focusing on the things that make us different. Now, you be wondering what possible commonality could be found in this pile of tentacle rape, robotic rape, tail rape, demon rape and, just to mix things up, normal rape rape. You see, despite the many differences between Western and Japanese culture, we share one common thing that unites all living things on this planet: when it comes to making the third installment of anything, we always screw it up spectacularly.

Put your tit away Palutena!

Put your tit away Palutena!

The Plot

If you’re going to watch this I suggest keeping a notebook close at hand, because there’s a metric shit-ton of plot that you need to keep track of.

Taking place after the events of the previous two OVAs, 20 years have passed since Nagumo turned into a terrifying demon and began his complete destruction of the three realms so that the Overfiend could create them anew. Akemi’s still good and pregnant over in Osaka, but something goes horribly wrong and the Overfiend is born 100 years too early. He senses that, despite Münchhausen II’s failed experiments, the Lord of Chaos has been born in the East (although, given that this takes place in Japan, I’m not sure how much more east you could go). The Overfiend summons Amano to protect him and hunt down the Lord of Chaos.

Meanwhile, over in the East, the terrible ravages of the apocalypse don’t seem to have been all that terrible. Society continues, albeit in a more terrified and constantly sexed-up kind of way. The apocalypse has also given rise to the Demon Beasts, a hybrid of the denizens of the three realms. Even in the apocalypse humans won’t let go of racism as a well-loved pass time, and these creatures are forced to live in near squaller or in forced labour camps run by the notorious tyrant Caesar.

Caesar’s a bit power mad. After discovering some ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs under the basement of a Japanese hotel and by hacking into a NASA computer (I’m not kidding) he’s managed to decipher to Overfiend’s prophecy, and wants to thwart its power and rebuild the realms himself. To do this he must defeat the Overfiend, which will require getting the demon Faburil to merge with the baby Lord of Chaos.

A mechanical penis is not a play thing.

A mechanical penis is not a play thing.

Thrown into all of this madness is Caesar’s absolute pride and joy (until he rapes her later on), his daughter Alector. A one-time human and now reanimated robot (meaning that the aforementioned rape isn’t technically incest), Alector yearns to be free from her father’s tyrannical love. She enlists the help of Demon Beast Buju, granting him his freedom from Caesar’s palace in exchange for her roughly-taken virginity. Following a complicated deflowering ritual in a Buddhist shrine they become the Lord of Chaos’ surrogate parents and accidentally reawaken Nagumo, who once again goes on a rampage in an attempt to protect his own little demonic offspring.

In essence, what happens next is:

  • Buju saves the Lord of Chaos from Caesar and Münchhausen II and kind of prevents her assimilation with Faburil but doesn’t.
  • Alector, once again resurrected after being accidentally killed outside the Buddhist temple, escapes her father’s many tentacles.
  • The Demon Beasts launch a revolt against Caesar.
  • The Demon Beasts rape ever female under Caesar’s command.
  • Most of the Demon Beasts are horribly murdered by the Genocydroid D-9, a human with many robot parts whose backstory isn’t really explained.
  • Münchhausen II launches an atomic attack on Osaka.
  • The Overfiend uses a reanimated pile of corpses to have sex with Megumi, somehow giving him the power to attack Münchhausen II and Faburil.
  • The Lord of Chaos doesn’t seem to notice any of this and just cries a lot.
  • Caesar is eventually defeated.
  • Alector forgets that her father brutally assaulted her and launches herself into space with his head clutched to her bosom.
  • Buju, the Lord of Chaos, a few Demon Beasts and the Genocydroid head off to Osaka to have a chat with the Overfiend.

The End. At least until I have to watch the next one.

Still not entirely clear on what the hell this thing is.

Still not entirely clear on what the hell this thing is.

The Visuals

Unlike the previous two, everything was not suitably animated in this one. Some things were beautifully animated, although most of what was being animated wasn’t beautiful (i.e. they put all their effort into the sex scenes). The rest of it looked a bit slapdash if I’m being honest.

This one was also a lot less grotesque and full of horror than the first two, opting instead to replace the horror with sex. Now, there was never a doubt in my mind that what was happening on-screen was incredibly damp and clammy, but if you come here looking for a lot of misshapen demons and gallons upon gallons of blood you’re going to be sorely disappointed.

Well I'm so glad someone's enjoying this.

Well I’m so glad someone’s enjoying this.

The Feelings


Don’t get me wrong, the first two installments in this little franchise were absolutely laden with gratuitous and violent sexual scenes, but watching this I realised what made it fundamentally different from its predecessors. In the first two the sex can be divided up roughly like this:

  • Consensual: Humans and humans, or Beasts and virtually anything.
  • Non-consensual: Demons and humans.

I have no moral objection to the first category, and in the second the sexual violence added to the sheer animosity and horror of the denizens of the demon realm, rather than just being there for the sake of it.

Watching the sex scenes in this installment, however, just made me uncomfortable. That’s because it largely forgoes anything horrific and instead throws in scene after scene after scene of sexual degradation. These scenes are too long and do nothing for the story other than to pad it out; the scene with Alector and Caesar was particularly difficult to watch. I’m not a prude and I’m not easily shocked, but even for me there’s a line and Return of the Overfiend took a running head start and leaped clear over it.

My discomfort with the sex scenes aside, the story here is also so convoluted that it’s virtually impossible to keep track of. Characters and events are thrown in without explanation and then thrown back out just as quickly, while the key points from the earlier installments aren’t expanded upon in any great way.

My interest was really piqued with this series, but it’s quickly going to fade if Return of the Overfiend is any indication of where this story’s going.

My Final Rating: 3 / 10
Buy Urotsukidōji III: Return of the Overfiend at

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Posted by on September 10, 2015 in Movie Review


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Movie Review: Urotsukidōji II: Legend of the Demon Womb

Legend of the Demon Womb

Released: 1991
Genre: Anime / Horror
IMDB Rating: 6 / 10

Fun fact about my personality: if I watch, read or play something and vaguely enjoy the story or my interest is piqued by its mythos, I will not rest until I have seen, read or played everything in that series to satisfy my curiosity. This means, since I did enjoy Legend of the Overfiend in a way that I can’t quite describe without sounding like I may be a danger to the public, that there’s gonna be a whole lotta demon sex going on in my lounge while I wade my way through the not insignificant number of Urotsukidōji OVAs.

Sadly Legend of the Demon Womb did not live up to the blood-gushing heights of its predecessor. It isn’t that it’s bad (although that word must be applied very subjectively when dealing with these movies) and on its own it could stand vag-to-vag with a lot of hentai that’s out there. It’s just that the psychological trauma isn’t quite as blunt with this one as it was in the first one, for reasons that I’ll detail as I go along.

Twitchy lil' fucker...

Twitchy lil’ fucker…

The Plot

Because context is everything, it’s important that we know where Legend of the Demon Womb takes place in the grand scheme of all the damp demon sex that’s going on. Thankfully no one is entirely convinced about where this one slots in, so I took it to be an interquel that happens at some point in the early part of Legend of the Overfiend.

We already know that the mortal realm is made up of humans and the Japanese, but one can easily forget that we share this domain with another nefarious group of creatures: Germans. Back in 1944, in an attempt to regain the edge over his enemies, Hitler hired Dr Münchhausen to build the ultimate weapon: the death rape machine. By strapping several buxom females with nipples so pointy they could cut diamonds to the machine and having it sex them good Dr Münchhausen hopes to summon the Lord of Chaos, the Overfiend’s nemesis. Unfortunately the timing, like the ejaculation of a man who’s been waiting too long, was premature, the women are over-death raped and the machine blows up, taking out half of Berlin with it.

Cut to the present day and Takeaki Kiryu, Tatsuo Nagumo’s cousin, is flying into whatever god-forsaken part of Japan Nagumo lives in to pay his family a visit. Suddenly, and quite without warning, the plane is attacked by demons and their horde of tentacles, and Takeaki is the only survivor of that ill-fated flight that saw his parents melted and absorbed into tentacles before his very eyes.

In a twist of fate that isn’t a twist and has nothing to do with fate Münchhausen II is on the scene. Having witnessed his father’s untimely death in the warm glow of burning buxom ladies, he’s decided that he will be the one to awaken the Lord of Chaos. By transfusing Nagumo’s Overfiend-laden blood into Takeaki he gets the ball rolling on bringing the Lord of Chaos into this realm, with Takeaki as the Lord’s vessel.

This woman's spine was the unsung hero of the story.

This woman’s spine was the unsung hero of the story.

Much like Nagumo during his early transformation, Takeaki isn’t entirely clear on what’s happening when he starts to turn into a malicious hell beast from the darkest realms of Japanese imagination. Thankfully Megumi’s back to help Takeaki out when his sheer manliness catches her attention and causes her vagina to swell with well-lubricated lust. Being a beast her powers will come in very handy as Takeaki learns of his destiny and gradually grows a horn through his eye. Amano’s also floating around, but he’s decided to take it easy in this movie and have sex with a weird nymph thing in a pond of lava instead of trying to collapse the three realms. Points to him though for making her cum so hard that it rips the fabric of space-time apart and reveals visions of the future…

Of course it wouldn’t be a real story without a love triangle, and Takeaki’s not the only one after Megumi’s dripping cave of wonders. Münchhausen II’s gone and recruited Kohōki, a demon that was once banished to hell, to help him awaken the Lord of Chaos. What young Münchhausen didn’t expect, however, was that Kohōki and Megumi had a bit of a thing a few centuries back, and he still carries a bit of a flame for her. So much so that his three penises all want to vie for space in her uterus. Trust me. You get to see it. Internally. And when his penises need a break from all that sexual collaboration, they’ll work separately as Kohōki abducts women to power up a second death rape machine…

As time runs out and even Megumi’s dewy nether lips need a breather, will Takeaki and Nagumo’s familial bond be enough to keep the Overfiend and the Lord of Chaos from wreaking untold destruction on the world and on Japan? Probably not, not with such a well calibrated death rape machine doing all of the summoning.

Ever squirted so hard you became desiccated?

Ever squirted so hard you became desiccated?

The Visuals

I’m still not in any way knowledgeable enough in the various proficiencies of Japanese anime to judge this movie with any confidence, but much like the original everything seemed to be suitably animated.

What was a bit of a let down with this when compared to its predecessor is that it wasn’t quite as visceral or disturbing, either when it came to the gore or to the sex. It’s there and it’s entirely unnatural when it happens, but it does feel like the people who made it needed a bit of a break after Legend of the Overfiend and decided to tone everything down a little.

You've got something in your eye there...

You’ve got something in your eye there…

The Feelings


Half the point of watching this was because I wanted to see a continuation of the sheer visual assault on my senses that happened during Legend of the Overfiend. The other reason was because Tropical Mary and I decided, since the planets had aligned for Women’s Day and the Lord’s Day to fall on the same day, that this would be a suitable way of celebrating both those things.

Granted this installment was only made up of two episodes (‘A Prayer for the Resurrection of the Lord of Chaos’ and ‘Battle at Shinjuku Skyscrapers’), which means it had less time to get its story out, but I just wasn’t wowed like I was by the first. I’m not sure if it’s because I was desensitised by the Legend of the Overfiend, if I’d psyched myself up too much before I watched this, or if it was just a little lacklustre, but nothing about it shocked me. It was very paint by numbers demon hentai, if such a thing can be said. It also doesn’t add anything to the original story or enhance your understanding of the events leading up to the Overfiend’s awakening, and its ending makes its entire story arc moot.

For Legend of the Overfiend I needed to wear a rain coat to get through all of the bodily fluids that were being thrown at the screen, but the same trip can be made through Legend of the Demon Womb with little more than a light parasol. Much like when I lamented the shortness of Voyage to the Milky Way it isn’t that I necessarily wanted it to be more awful or revolting than it was, but I’d girded my loins for a lot of demon sex and human offal, and I just didn’t get my money’s worth with this one.

My Final Rating: 4 / 10
Buy Legend of the Demon Womb at

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Posted by on August 14, 2015 in Movie Review


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