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Movie Review: Boogeyman

11 Jul

Boogeyman

Released: 2005
Genre: Horror
IMDB Rating: 4.1 / 10

There’s something about having an entire day to do absolutely nothing, a warm electric blanket and some freshly made white hot chocolate that just screams “you should totally watch an underwhelming film franchise!” Not one to regularly argue with myself, I dug through my pile of movies and realised I had all three of the Boogeyman movies. A product of the mid-2000s (and best left there where it belongs), Boogeyman is a wonderful example of a trilogy that really started off at mediocre and saw absolutely no reason to push for anything better.

Quoth the Raven, "bluuuggggh".

Quoth the Raven, “bluuuggggh”.

The Plot

Tim Jensen really hasn’t had an easy life. As a child he saw his father being abducted by a supernatural being that lived in his closet, never to be seen again. This really messed him up as an adult, to the point where Tim lives in a flat with no cupboard doors, all his clothes on racks in the middle of big spaces, and enough lighting to make the sun shield its eyes from the glare – all in an attempt to keep the boogeyman at bay.

When his mother, who never really got over the father “running away”, dies, Tim’s therapist suggests that he needs to spend a night in his childhood home in order to face his fears and realise once and for all that there really is no boogeyman. But if there’s nothing there, then why do the closet doors keep opening and closing on their own and why does something keep tripping the lights while making odd groaning noises all over the damn place?

When his girlfriend is abducted and his childhood friend is threatened by the boogeyman Tim decides to team up with Franny, a young girl who’s also seen the creature and has been keeping tabs on all of the kids it’s made off with. Together they will try to send the creature back to whatever part of hell it sprung up from.

She's so ashy when she sleeps.

She’s so ashy when she sleeps.

The Visuals

Boogeyman tries to follow the visual template established by the J-horror remakes that were all the rage in the 2000s. That wasn’t a great phase in movie making since American film makers could never quite grasp the essence of what makes Japanese horror particularly spine tingling, so when a movie that isn’t a J-horror remake tries to go toe-to-toe with said remakes the end result just isn’t anything to write home about.

Much like the movie’s storyline the visuals are average, relying on a lot of darkened corners and creaking doors to try and get its audience’s blood pumping. The creature itself, which only makes a full appearance quite late into the movie’s run, is your average CGI monster. Not that the monster would’ve been particularly frightening in 2005, but 11 years later the CGI hasn’t held up well enough to make anyone leap out of their seats when the boogeyman comes calling.

There's always that one bitch eavesdropping on every conversation.

There’s always that one bitch eavesdropping on every conversation.

The Feelings

Meh.

There really isn’t much else that I can say about Boogeyman. It’s a completely generic story with all the stereotypical characters and ‘twists’ that you’ve seen a thousand times before. It’s horror by numbers in absolutely every sense and the end result is a movie that’s not bad, but it really isn’t good either.

My Final Rating: 5 / 10
Buy Boogeyman at Amazon.com

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Posted by on July 11, 2016 in Movie Review

 

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