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Book Review: Horny Zombies Crave Tacos #1

22 Jul

51oOKENL9EL._SX311_BO1,204,203,200_Author: Kacey Zen
Genre: Erotica / Horror
Published: 2015

Zombies are fascinating creatures. Usually risen from the grave by supernatural or viral means, they are terrifying things driven by base needs that laugh in the face of natural order. There’s certainly a lot of scope for thinking about modern society’s obsession with zombies and what it says about our view of the world’s current state, but Horny Zombies Crave Tacos #1 is not the best jumping off point for such deliberations.

I’m genuinely not sure why Amazon sent this pamphlet to me as a recommendation, but it was free and for some reason I thought there were going to be real tacos involved. That was perhaps a bit naïve on my part. Especially if you consider that Kacey Zen’s Amazon page contains the warning “CAUTION: Kacey Zen’s books have caused people to spontaneously cum! ;)” The last time I checked spontaneous orgasms were a medical condition, but my morbid curiosity was peaked and I blindly stepped off into a world of the lusty undead with an unfulfilled curiosity as to how Mexican food would fit into the greater plot.

The Plot

In a world where the question mark has been struck from the English language and everyone speaks in statements, zombies have become the dominant life (unlife?) force on Earth. Ava and her boyfriend Brian are just trying to get by in this world gone wrong where, for reasons unknown, only men are being bitten and turned into the dawdling dead. Faced with an uncertain future Ava and Brian do the only reasonable thing two people desperate to survive can do: he ties her up in a tent and bangs her in a most un-Christian manner.

Their companion Luke hears this and decides that he needs to take action. In my head Luke’s your typical 40-something guy who worked the midnight shift at a McDonald’s knockoff and then joined a sex gang when the world went to shit. He kills Brian mid-thrust and decides to use Ava as his sex toy. Losing the love of her life mid-coitus makes Ava so wet the Egyptians would have worshipped her for restoring the Nile’s flood, and the prospect of Luke using a donkey dick-shaped tree branch to screw her really gets her motor running.

But then poor Luke gets eaten by zombies. But this zombie virus is different to the ones most of us are familiar with: it does turn humans into lumbering rotting corpses, but in doing so it appears to divert all available life force to the penis, making it larger and more rigid than could ever be achieved in life. The thought of these exanimated penises doing unmentionable things to her gets Ava even more wet, to the extent that Noah would think God was calling on him a second time.

Will Ava survive an undead ravishing, or will that mysterious tribe of militant lesbians arrive in time to save her from her own carnal desires? Also, can you have carnal desires when the flesh is rotting?

The Writing Style

You know, a lot of people would criticise the likes of Kacey Zen for attempting to be an author, but not me. In fact I think it’s rather valiant of people like her whose brains are clearly infested with tapeworm to fight the good fight and attempt to forge a career for themselves in a literary world largely dominated by writers with functional minds.

Before judging her writing style you must also remember that she only had 18 pages to work with, so she was probably quite right in jettisoning punctuation. This also helps to build tension, as the run-on sentences clearly express the shock and arousal the characters are feeling in their terrified/titillated state.

Her inconsistent application of gendered pronouns to her characters also speaks volumes about her place in the radical feminist movement, and why she isn’t the focus of more scholarly feminist debate is beyond me.

The Feelings

Mild despondency.

You know, when your ‘book’ is about rotting corpses, whose sperm goes the same way as yoghurt left out in the sun, double penetrating a woman aroused by thick tree branches and yet none of it is shocking or assaulting to the reader’s senses, then something isn’t right.

Maybe I’ve been desensitised by the space raptors and the penis tornadoes, but nothing during the course of Ava’s 18 page romp through depravity was either shocking or arousing. I’m fairly certain that I don’t class as Ms Zen’s target audience, but even for those who do get off on this sort of thing I’m sure you can find something far better.

My Final Rating: 1 / 10
Buy Horny Zombies Crave Tacos #1 on Amazon.com

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2 Comments

Posted by on July 22, 2015 in Book Review

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

2 responses to “Book Review: Horny Zombies Crave Tacos #1

  1. Alisha

    July 24, 2015 at 5:23 pm

    But How Were The Tacos?

     
    • James

      July 24, 2015 at 5:26 pm

      Sloppy…

       

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