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Movie Review: 7500

09 Jul

7500Released: 2014
Genre: Horror / Mystery
IMDB Rating: 4.9 / 10

You know, there’s a lot of rubbish out there. Thankfully on most occasions the well-seasoned horror veteran can easily spot rubbish a mile away and adjust their expectations accordingly. But when you start throwing around the words “From the Director of The Grudge” and put together a decent trailer, sometimes even the best of us can be caught off guard. 7500 is a lie of a horror movie that makes things like Ouija look like a master class in script writing, acting, and plot development.

Consider this as much a cautionary tale against the temptation of renting this film as it is a review.

Yes, hello? Is this the script writer? Yes, I was wondering if you'd seen the plot development anywhere?

Yes, hello? Is this the script writer? Yes, I was wondering if you’d seen the plot development anywhere?

The Plot

Flight 7500 from Los Angeles to Tokyo is all loaded up and ready to go. Amongst the passengers are such riveting people as the couple that’s secretly already broken up but haven’t told their friends, the couple that’s briefly introduced and then completely forgotten, the young WASP couple who’re just starting out their life of asking who’s been allowed into their country club together, the goth girl who’s so goth other goths would be embarrassed to hang out with her, and the mysterious middle-aged gentleman traveling with a Japanese death doll.

All’s going well for about the first 10 minutes of the flight until the gentleman with the death doll suddenly starts bleeding profusely from his mouth and his teeth start falling out, leading to a rather undignified death. The body is promptly stored in the first class cabin and everyone goes back to drinking their expensive bottled water and eating their complementary bags of peanuts.

That is until the cabin experiences sudden decompression and we learn through harsh experience that virtually nobody pays attention during the pre-flight safety presentations. Thankfully, the captain manages to drop the plane to a lower altitude, restabilise cabin pressure, and everyone goes back to deciding whether chicken or fish would go better with their tiny bottles of red wine.

THAT IS until mysterious things start happening around the plane, what with the dead guy’s body going missing, ghostly images appearing in people’s in-flight movies, things grabbing the flight attendants’ hair and smoke appearing from randomly pieces of the floor.

Thankfully the embarrassingly goth girl knows a lot about Japanese mythology and identifies the missing dead gentleman’s doll as a shinigami, a spirit that collects people’s souls after they die once they let go of whatever ties them to this mortal realm. The mysterious things that go bump in the night every once in a while are obviously linked to the dead gentleman. Taking her advice at face value and questioning nothing, our intrepid group of economy-class heroes set out to get the dead guy to let go of his troubles and, despite not being of Japanese extraction, move on to the Japanese afterlife.

Even the death doll was a little skeptical about what was going on.

Even the death doll was a little skeptical about what was going on.

The Visuals

When the greatest special effect you can be bothered to rustle up is to make the interior of the plane look a little damp, there’s not a lot of room to go wrong with your visuals. We were promised Grudge-esque spirits wandering around the cabin and the everyday man’s malevolent ghoul, but these really only pop up either in brief periphery shots or the occasional white hand, so it’s not like you can get this very wrong either.

There’s nothing that particularly stands out in this category, but it’s all completely serviceable.

My face when you're still waiting for the movie to actually do something.

Your face when you’re still waiting for the movie to actually do something.

The Feelings

Initial excitement that quickly tapers off into boredom.

7500 starts off promisingly with all the necessary elements for an effective horror movie. Pitched as The Grudge but on a plane, it seemed like it could be something quite different and interesting to watch. Unfortunately by the time you’ve crossed the one-hour mark and nothing significant has happened you start to realise that, like Flight 7500, this movie just isn’t going to reach any kind of destination.

If you also consider the fact that I’m absolutely useless at figuring out plot twists before they happen (it’s actually a lot of fun – I’m always surprised when there’s any kind of twist in a film), I saw where this was going within the first twenty minutes or so. While it always feels nice to be right about something, it makes the rest of the movie even more boring that it was to begin with.

7500 was a promising movie that just never gets going, and it’s neither good enough to recommend or bad enough that you could have fun watching it. Rather rewatch The Grudge and save yourself the disappointment of losing an hour and a half to this movie.

My Final Rating: 3 / 10
Buy 7500 at Amazon.com

TRAILER

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Posted by on July 9, 2015 in Movie Review

 

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